Sweating (But NOT to the Oldies)

Today's Apple: A Fuji

Image 'n' text courtesy o' the fine 
folks at All About Apples

Arkansas Black

Parentage / Origin: Probably a seedling of Winesap.; Benton County, Arkansas around 1870

Harvest / Season: Harvest: Late October - November

Description: Extremely beautiful, medium size, smooth, round, dark purplish red fruits turn nearly black at maturity. Waxy skin. Crisp, juicy, very firm, yellow flesh. Distinctive aromatic flavor lends itself well to cider blending. Very good quality, use for fresh eating or cooking. Excellent keeper; mellows in storage.

Tree Characteristics: Triploid

After work Friday, I had to go to the local public library. They was holding on to some stuff fer me that I needed to pick up 'fore they gave 'em away to someone else. The wife had the car, so I figgered I'd just walk over there. It's only 'bout two miles from work, 'n' then another two miles back to the house, 'n' the weather's been fairly mild (highs in the 80's 'stead o' the 90's fer a change), so I figgered it'd be no big deal. After all, when I was younger, I was used to pedestriating ever'where I went.

Man, have I gotten out o' shape. Now, I knew that there would be a lot o' going up 'n' down the hills 'tween work 'n' the library 'n' the library 'n' the house, but I didn't think too much of 'em. Least, not 'til 'bout the time I stood at the bottom o' that last big hill I still had to climb to get to the house. By that time I was sweating like a pig 'n' my thighs was complaining mightily 'bout what I was contemplating putting 'em through after I'd already put 'em through so much already. Lucky fer me, a Men Without Hats song come on my I-Pod just then, so that gave me enough of a lift to make it up the hill 'n' the rest o' the way home. (Don't ever underestimate the power of a good Men Without Hats song.)

So I get home, drenched in sweat, fatigued leg muscles, hands so swoll up I can barely get my rings off 'fore I get in the shower, wondering, "When did this quit being easy? (Partly in my defense, however, the temperature was up 'round 95 fer the first time in two weeks, so that explains a good bit o' the sweating.) I used to be able to do four miles with no problems, hills notwithstanding. (Although, to my credit, I did make the whole round trip in 'bout an hour, which is right at my old average pedestrian speed, even on a straightaway.) I still walk least a mile er more ever'day to work. Up 'n' down hills included."

Well, natur'ly, that got me thinking the kinds o' thought no one ever wants to think 'bout: Should I start exercising? Then I had a better thought: Maybe I shouldn't exercise, 'cause that might th'ow the whole experiment off. I mean, what I'm trying to do is find out if apples have a marked effect on a person's health. If I th'ow exercising into the mix, ain't that gonna seriously skew the results? After all, excercising has been shown to have positive benefits fer one's health (once you get past that "No Pain, No Gain" phase of it, that is).

I guess that leaves me with some real puzzlers to try 'n' figger out. Firstly, will excercising invalidate the whole apple a day thing since I wouldn't be able to tell if it was the apples helping, the exercising helping, er a combination o' the two? Secondly, if I decide not to do the excercising 'cause I don't want to taint the results, how much o' that decision would be based on a subconcious desire to be lazy? Thirdly, since this saying comes from over a hunderd years ago, when folks was much more active than they are these days, could it have been a combination o' the apples added to their reg'lar physical exertions that brought on the benefits?

Perhaps it wasn't just an apple a day that was the only determining factor that kept the doctor away. Maybe it was the addition o' the apple to an already vigorous lifestyle lived in an ecologically cleaner environment, with better air 'n' less poisons in the water supply. Maybe they was already healthier, in some ways, than modern day folks, so they was already more inclined to not need doctors quite so much as we do nowadays. They certainly didn't have to worry 'bout things like "irritable bowel syndrome", er "shaky legs", er even "COPD", since those things hadn't been invented yet.

So I guess excercising a little ever' now 'n' then wouldn't th'ow things off too much. I guess I could handle a little bit ever' once 'n' a while. Maybe a stroll back 'n' forth to the library once a week wouldn't kill me. But I ain't doing no Richard Simmons.